What Fresh Hell is 2020 going to throw at me now???
My answer: It doesn’t matter.
What? How can I say that? Well, just like I did. Anyone can say it. The problem is believing it.
Is this bravado?
No. Absolutely not.
This year has had a devastating effect on the world. Our country. Our lives. We don’t know which way is up. Don’t know who to believe. Don’t even know what to believe. All we know is that things are crazy out there and it is a scary, scary place to be.
So how can I say, ‘It doesn’t matter.’
We humans have a tendency… well, an obsession, really… for trying to control more than we are capable of. It’s genetic. One of our most basic of survival reactions. It’s unconscious and normal, but it doesn’t have to be. That is how I can not only say it but believe it.
And so can you.
I can’t control Covid. I can’t control the response to Covid, whether it is an underreaction or an overreaction. I can’t control that my favorite bar no longer exists because of the reaction. I can’t control the riots, or the protests, or the rhetoric about why each side is right.
What I can do, is control what I do from day to day. I can control what I do when I get up in the morning, even if I don’t feel like it. I can control a normal morning routine. I can control if I exercise each day, or eat right.
All I can do is focus on what I can control.
I know that sounds trite and cliché, but it doesn’t make it less true. Does it always work? No. I sometimes find myself getting worked up about all the things that are going on outside my door. The only difference, now, is that I don’t focus on that for very long, because it does nothing for my health. Instead, I make plans for my day and do what I can to follow through with them. That is one of the secrets. Make a plan and follow it. Well, should I say, make a reasonable plan and follow it.
What am I blathering about?
Creating certainty.
When I, and by extension you, create certainty in my (your) world, we are giving ourselves a great gift that runs very deep into our psyche. We are doing that because one of our greatest fears as humans is the Fear of the Unknown, aka Uncertainty. That is exactly why we attempt to control the things going on outside our doors, even though, unconsciously, we know we cannot. And knowing that creates more stress in our lives.
So, bring it out in the open because monsters only live in the dark.
Consciously admitting and knowing that helps mitigate its power.
What else can you do? Here are some simple ideas:
#1 Realize all the certainty already in your life. Even knowing that what is going on in the world is uncertain, is a certainty that you can count on.
#2 Know that your routine helps you with certainty in your life – routine is huge for humans (animals, too) and realizing that can give you comfort.
#3 Create more certainty by adding healthy activities to your routine. This may be the most important thing that you can do, because we often default to non-productive or even destructive routines that feel good or medicate the stressful feelings that come with the uncertainty.
These are just some of the ways we can help ourselves during this time and that is really what matters. What life throws at us is not the issue. That’s why it doesn’t matter. What matters is how we deal with what is going on.
And you have a great deal of power to do what matters.
If you want to hear more about this topic, listen to my new radio show, called What Drives You! (ComingSoon!Look for it). And, if you have any questions, feel free to contact me at mike@mikegorday.com. If you are a reader, a great book to look into, especially during these uncertain times is: