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A Smile is NOT Just a Smile (nor a lyric)

Did you Know!

That the general public can identify a genuine smile only about 60% of the time. That number may seem high, but that is only ten percent better than chance – 50/50.

So, why would that be the case. Why can’t we, as humans, get that right at a higher percentage… say closer to 100% of the time?

Well, there are several reasons, and, as it is, we are not as savvy with identifying other expressions either. With a system that runs from 43 different muscles, we can display over 10,000 expressions, so it is understandable that there may be some difficulties there.

As it turns out,

A smile is NOT just a smile (nor is that a real lyric – the real lyric is ‘a sigh is just a sigh’. That is called a mondegreen, by the way).

One of the reasons we don’t always recognize a genuine smile is that there are several types of smiles. We happen to use them in a variety of ways, including as a polite gesture, to reassuring others, to entertain, and to mask other emotions we don’t want to share. And don’t think that looking for crinkles by the eyes is a dead giveaway. That can be faked as well, particularly in older people.

In and of itself, just the number of ways we use smiling behaviors makes it a bit difficult. But, there are other reasons that we may have difficulty. These include:

  • We don’t pay much attention. Our brains work in a manner which it needs to make quick judgements on what is going on around us with the minimal amount of information. This heuristic way of operation means that it doesn’t always wait for all the information before jumping to a conclusion.
  • Mirror Neurons – this is also a brain function that activates when we detect emotions from another human. When that happens, we begin to generate the same responses which is one of the basis of empathy. In effect, when we mirror others perceived emotions, we stop looking for evidence of ‘genuine-ness’ (or to the contrary, as the case may be).
  • We are used to ‘fake’ smiles being the norm because of mass media. Commonly called the Pan-Am smile due to the airline which required flight attendants to smile AT ALL TIMES, we have come to regard a facsimile of the smile as the most common and, therefore, the most ‘normal’.

It is likely that most people don’t really think about this or even care, but it is important and worth learning. Why? Better human connection is one, though, a lot of times, we can certainly fall into the ‘ignorance is bliss’ category.

Just think about it. Say you are single, and you meet that special someone. (Or, at least, that special someone right now.) You are engaging in a conversation, or flirting, or whatever, what if you could really tell that those smiles he or she is throwing back at you is actually because they are being polite rather than showing real interest?

What if you are selling something, like a house or maybe a car, and that person is giving you a lot of masking smiles covering up their fears or, even, their intention not to buy from you? Wouldn’t you be better off knowing that ahead of time?

Or, on the flip side, what if that salesperson that is trying to sell you a house or car, keeps giving you smiles to comfort you and allow you to let down your guard. Wouldn’t you like to know if those smiles are genuine or duping?

What about someone that is depressed. A friend or family member. And they keep giving you reassuring smiles that everything is ‘a-okay’ but they really are not. Wouldn’t that be good to know?

My point is… Well, my bet is you can see my point.

Detecting, seeing, and understanding what is going on with someone based on what they are displaying on their faces or in their bodies is both a science and an art. We tend to believe that behavior is simple, but humans are much more complex than that and it behooves us to put a little effort into better understanding them…

…because, at the end of the day, you survive better with them than without.   

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The Slap Heard ‘Round the World, Part Two

(The application of Cognitive Bias on external events.)

Real or Fake?

Is it possible that the Great Oscar Slap was staged? Or was it the genuine reaction of someone in the midst of a stressful situation?

Looking around at all the commentary is no help. Much of the argument rests on the observation of certain evidence. In the clip of the video of the Will Smith/Chris Rock situation we see several tell tale signs. From start to finish, some of the often quoted points are:

  • GI Jane Joke
  • Will Smith laughing while Jada stops and shows a pain face
  • Chris Rock watching Will enter the stage.
  • No Security or other persons otherwise stopping Will
  • Chris not moving back.
  • Chris moving away from sudden movement.
  • Will slapping rather than punching,
  • Chris recovering without expression or retaliation.
  • Chris making awkward joke while Will struts off stage
  • Will continuing to barrage Chris from his seat with verbal commands.
  • Will justifying his behavior in his acceptance speech.

Let’s follow some of these pieces of information with each topic according to some of the arguments I’ve seen.

It’s Fake. The Slap was Staged:

The fact that Will is laughing at the joke prior to walking on stage shows us that he knows what is coming. Chris’s lack of reaction when Will is walking towards him shows an expectation. If it wasn’t staged, why did no one stop or intercede in Will’s advance, especially security. Chris’s facial expressions does not show surprise and he moves his face away from the slap in a manner that suggest choreography.

If Will were serious, he would have punched Chris instead of slapping him. Will actually slapped him on the shoulder, not the face. Chris did not fight back or even look angry at getting slapped on national television, instead, he continued to make jokes about it being the best night of television ever. Will then makes a speech paralleling his role as King Richard to his own behavior that is well rehearsed.

It’s Real. The Slap was NOT Staged:

Will is laughing until he sees the pain on his wife’s face. Chris’s reaction when Will is walking towards him shows that he is not sure of what is going on, but ‘the show must go on’. No one stopped Will because, well, it’s Will Smith. Things like this happen at these events so it is not a surprise or it just caused enough confusion to warrant a lag time of action on the part of security. Chris is anticipating something, but his reaction to move his face away from danger is normal and expected.

Will not punching Chris is an example of toxic masculinity expectation. Chris continuing his monologue, albeit shaken up, is an example of this professionalism and experience, as well as a slight form of shock as he attempts to understand what just happened. Will’s verbal assault once he returned to his seat reflects genuine anger and his acceptance speech is an attempt to justify his earlier behavior.

These two perspectives are, in general, the arguments for or against, and does not include all the other various theories that are rampant in this situation, such as Will’s autobiographical statements of his own father, or the internal marital problems that exist between the two.

Could it have been a staged event? Yes, that is certainly a possibility. At the end of the day, the Oscars are still a venue for entertainment and that equals illusion. Rehearsing an incident outside of the formal routine in order to generate buzz is not unheard of in the Land of Hollywood. Even if it were a simple collusion between two people – in this case Will Smith and Chris Rock – to possibly assist each other in some fashion (i.e. give credence to an acceptance speech or possibly increase ticket sales for upcoming stand up or even to bring attention to some social inequity as some have proposed) there would have been others that were ‘in the know’, from Jada or Security, or the production team.

Even applying Occam’s Razor to this doesn’t hold water, because it is entertainment and there is a lot of backstage planning in order to bring a simple, believable event to the audience.

Was it real? Yes, that is certainly a possibility, probability aside. At the end of the day, these types of behaviors are well recorded in association with these award events, from Kanye’s upstaging of Taylor Swift at the VMAs to a streaker at the 46th Academy Awards. It is one of the cornerstones of celebrity news to showcase the out of touch behaviors of those we venerate.

However, what I would like to illustrate is this. Again, not the actual event, but what is going on around the event. I would like to bring the camera back, so to speak, away from what happened and talk about what is going on…

With Us.

What are We doing?

Some of what is happening is the application of bias toward an event.

We, the people, are looking at this happenstance and trying to make sense of it. In order to do so, our brains are engaging in a number of complex processes. A couple of the ‘deepest’ reasons is that we need to know if there is a threat or not and a need for certainty. These unconscious processes work to define the world around us. In this case, we see the event and start looking for meaning.

We engage in what is known as attribution bias where we are defining and explaining what we and other people are doing through our own perceptual environment to generate the certainty about the event. And right behind that, is a form of confirmation bias, in which we interpret the observed behavior to support the attributed meaning.

So, if you believe that the slap was staged, your brain is going to skew the evidence in order to do so. If you believe the slap was not staged, your brain is going to skew the evidence in order to do so.

The evidence itself, remains the same. It is the observer that assigns meaning.

It also explains some of the ancillary reactions, such as people defending Will’s behavior, or exalting Chris’s response; bringing attention to toxic masculinity theory or to a medical condition.

All these filters work to define meaning and experience, and, by no means is it as simple as the two biases that I utilized to illustrate a point. We are, all of us, engaging in these factors all the time. The efforts that our brains are making do so by using short cuts – heuristics – because that is what is needed for survival.

So, in that vein, if you believe it was a staged event, that is the truth. The ‘evidence’ can reasonably support that statement. If you believe it was not, that is the truth, for the same reason. The actuality is that all we know is what we saw, taken out of context, quickly defined and even more quickly judged based on our own brains’ cognitive errors.

At the Oscars, actor Will Smith looked like he slapped comedian and actor Chris Rock and then yelled at him from his seat. That is all we really know. And even that can be questioned. But that is a topic for another day.

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The Slap Heard ‘Round the World

While I do not generally comment publicly on the activities of celebrities, I felt the need to address something about Will Smith’s Oscar Slap. Not the slap itself, nor the joke that pre-empted it, but about some of the confusion that has surfaced about the context. Specifically, about seeing Will laughing at the joke just prior to his very exaggerated response. Many people have asked what is going on there. Why? Why is he laughing and then slapping? Was it staged? What was going on?

Let’s assume that it was not staged, as some have suggested. What we are seeing is a prime example of what is called Reaction Formation. This is a psychological self-defense mechanism that all humans employ in which a person unconsciously replaces one impulse or behavior that is unacceptable or unwanted with an opposite, often exaggerated one.

In this instance, we see Will laughing at a joke that the audience is participating in. He is engaged in group think and shared behavior, until he looks over and sees the pain on his wife’s face. This instantly results in some cognitive dissonance as he attempts to reconcile what he is doing and feeling versus what he is seeing from his wife. The result of which could be an intense spike of guilt. He is participating in the public hurt and humiliation of someone he loves who is experiencing pain in that instance. Not an acceptable or appropriate behavior. That instantly creates a cascade effect in which he needs that pain of guilt to be removed, so it is replaced with intense anger, a secondary emotion. He further then needs to express that need to resolve the feelings of guilt or shame. The result, a very exaggerated response in which he publicly targets Chris and visits upon him a more aggressive form of humiliation and warns him very loudly to stop doing what he is doing.

This is largely speculative, of course, as I am not a party of their relationship specifics, nor the charged atmosphere in which this happened. Also, there are more factors and complexity going on in this situation that can be pointed out, but this situation offers us a glimpse of what Reaction Formation looks like. This is a mechanism that all humans have and use. You do it. I do it. Everyone does it. Along with a myriad of other psychological defense and bias mechanisms. While this is not an attempt to excuse any of the associate behavior, understanding what is happening can create different choices about how it is viewed and responded to.

Mike Gorday, MA

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When Struggling in the Swamp of Stagnation, Any Direction Will Lead Out.

An incessant buzz. An annoying chiming. Whatever it is, you probably swim up through unconsciousness to tab the snooze feature. Once, maybe twice, or even three or four times. At some point you realize the futility of that and slowly drag yourself out of bed.

You give equal energy to your beginning routine, a pace not much more than a slog. Maybe you drink coffee, thinking that has something to do with waking up, but it is more habit than help, your body’s tolerance more than masking the effects.

Plodding through your day feels a lot like walking through the sucking mud of a swamp as you complete your daily work tasks. Soft earth that clutches, clutches, clutches at each step through a day filled with monochrome predictability.

Only to return home in a listless trudge to an oversalted microwaveable meal or something equally processed with corn syrup and multisyllabic compounds used as preservatives. Maybe you take root in your favorite place on a well worn couch and take full advantage of automatic streaming services. A show that moves from one episode to the next like each day that confronts you.

You might have a family. You might have a bowling night. Yet each is a drab background to an otherwise drab life.

But, even though each morning you might watch the scale creep up a pound, your mind whirls with activity. It’s a strange phenomenon. It seems so energetic, yet so frenetic. You continually draw up plans for a better life. Something other than this oatmeal existence you actually worked for. A workout plan. A diet plan. A date plan. A business plan. A promotion plan.

Why does it never go farther than that?

This is what Eric Erickson called stagnation and he thought it a common challenge for those of us in our middle years. A quiet withdrawal from life that is due largely to a lack of contribution, something he felt was a need of the human being.

He wasn’t wrong.

And being mired in the swamp of stagnation is common to many at different times and places in our lives.

But, what do we do when we look up from our journey and find ourselves in this bog?

Well, like being physically lost, the first thing we have to do is recognize it and then,

ORIENT. Find out which direction we need to go. All those thoughts racing around are all the directions we have to go, but because there is so many directions, we get just as lost in the choices. Pick one. Just one. That is the direction you MUST go.

DECIDE. You have to MOVE. Even if it’s just plodding, you have to move in the direction you have chosen. It is the only way out of the swamp. Each step, as long as you keep putting one step in front of the other, gets you closer to the edge of the marsh.

DRAW. You have the inner strength to stay on the path. Use it. Repeat the decision making and repeat the action. Some days it will be easy, others, not so much. The more you use your strength, the more energy you are going to get. This is the science of motivation. This is the art of momentum.

DRILL. Like regular exercise strengthens the body, regular follow through strengthens the mind. It takes time and it takes repetition. Mastery follows. It may be tedious at times, but you are teaching yourself the mindset to keep going.

CELEBRATE. Rewarding yourself for even small, completed tasks help ensure you will repeat the actions.

At some point, you will get to the edge of the swamp and find firmer ground. You will see that all those ideas you have, all follow the same path out. Things will become lighter. Life will become brighter. You will find yourself revitalized and the drab background will become a colorful skein.

You may even get up before the alarm goes off.

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Defeat is Always Lurking in the Backdrop of Our Minds.

On a personal note….

I’m sitting here during the Great Global Pandemic wondering, like most, if there is an end in sight. It is dark, the veil of night long since fallen and the house embraced by silence that is common this late. For the second time tonight, I find myself staring at the overwhelming chores of building a business and thinking, “it’s never going to work.”

This is a normal occurrence too. A couple of times a day, my irascible mind describes in great detail how all the things I am trying to accomplish will never come to fruition.

I am reminded, though, of memories past. Tonight, specifically, it is the memory of my first black belt test. How myself and my classmate were ‘set up’ by our teacher. We were there to test for black belt, to be judged by other black belts and masters, yet our teacher took it upon himself to ‘give’ us our black belts the night before the test. Told us we had to wear them to the test.

We knew going in, this was a problem. How presumptuous to show up with the black belts we hadn’t earned? How arrogant? I remember then thinking, “it’s never going to work”. That problematic mind suggested several times, “We are not ready. We can’t do this.”

Yet, there we were.

And we paid. Dearly. They all came after us. We were singled out to do more as each Master and upper black belt from all the regional schools got his or her turn to call cadence or form. We were targeted by all regardless of rank because we neither fit into the group of those testing, nor the group testing us. We had to fight everybody. Twice. And what they all held in reserve for all the other testing students, they unleashed on us. We were alone. We were to be examples. We were examples. We both knew it and we both wanted to quit many times throughout that test.

But we didn’t quit. Neither he nor I. We kept moving, we kept fighting, because in our minds, we had no other choice. There was no other goal except to get through the next piece; the next trial. It never occurred to us that this was by design. It didn’t sink in until much later that our teacher hadn’t set us up to fail, but to test our resolve. At the end, after the Masters made us stand still for over an hour after a physical ordeal that lasted hours, both of us bruised, exhausted, and soaked, we still didn’t know if we’d passed. We both thought we had been punished for our temerity.

What we did know, though, was certainly not defeat.

So, here I sit, typing this post while the hour grows late, not knowing if success or failure is around the corner, reminding myself of one of my favorite sayings:

“When climbing the mountain, you can quit as many times as you like, as long as your feet keep moving.”

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Confidence At Your Fingertips!

How To Have Confidence Whenever It Is Needed, Not Feel Insecure Or Anxious, and Perform At A Higher Level in No Time Flat!


In this video training we’ll cover how to develop the SKILL of confidence instead of just waiting around to FEEL confident, which many do!

You can use these techniques to have confidence whenever it is needed, not feel insecure or anxious, and even perform at a higher level!

Heck, I even show you how to gain confidence in a pinch!

In fact, here’s just a sample of what we’ll cover on this incredible training event:

* How to develop life long confidence (ask anyone out, get that promotion, or talk in front of others.).

… and much, MUCH More!

Don’t miss this breakthrough training that will finally show you yourself better and be able to call on confidence when you need it most.

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Your Brain is Lazy!

Wait…

Before you react, take a moment to realize that I am not trying to insult you. My brain is lazy, too. Everybody’s brain is lazy. In fact, if you did react, you just proved my point… to yourself… or proved your point… uh… nevermind….

My point is, your, my, and every other humans’ brain do this. It’s a design mechanism that, in our modern time, is more of a flaw than an asset.

What am I blathering on about?

Heuristics. I know that explains everything, right? No? Ok…

Your unconscious mind employs short-cuts (heuristics) in order to keep you safe. This is a necessary feature of the thing that’s sole existence is to keep you from harm. Why would this be necessary? Well, if you think about it, you need to be able to respond to a little bit of information especially if that small amount of information represents a threat.

Story time…

Once, when I was in high school, a friend of mine and me went camping up in the mountains we lived near. There were two campsites in the area, about 2 miles between each other, high on the peak. We stayed in the lower campsite and my friend (we’ll call him Dennis, because that was his name) said he heard there was a party going on in the upper campsite. Well, of course we decided to go up to the campsite and, also, decided to walk instead of take the car we came in. It was also very dark by the time we made the decision, mostly because we were bored. At least, that is how I’m remembering it.

So, we set off, hiking the lighter line of the dirt road leading up to the second site, sandwiched between two dark cavernous walls of woods lining the road. We were casually chatting about what girls we thought would be at the party, or something equally inane, when something HUGE moved in the woods off to our left. I say, ‘HUGE’ because that was my experience. I remember this distinctly to this day. What I don’t remember is how I got several hundred feet up the road before I stopped and turned around and saw Dennis standing rigid; stock still as a statue.

This illustrates two of the strategies of the survival brain, what is most commonly called the Fight or Flight system. When my brain detected the sound, my brain immediately took over and, without thought, I ran. Flight. My friend, when he detected the sound, his brain took over and, without thought, he stopped. Froze. I ran to get away from the threat, and my friend didn’t. By the by, freezing is a survival strategy because predator’s eyes are focused first on movement, so, by freezing, Dennis employed the Jurassic Part strategy of becoming invisible.

This illustrates the effect of the brain’s heuristic workings. It took the smallest amount of input to create the survival system to activate. We did not stop, check out the woods, consider the options, and then decide our prospective responses because that might have been a problem. The first thing to know is we use a ‘Have It And Not Need It’ response, meaning, without enough information present, we add the information we need, which is usually negative. Meaning, whatever moved in the woods, whether badger or bear, our brains inserted the scariest information it needed. It didn’t matter if it was actually a threat or not. So we acted… or reacted. The second thing to know is that when our survival brain activates, it takes away the ability to use our higher brain functions.

In a very roundabout way, this is how the brain uses shortcuts. Now, this seems like an extreme measure, but, the problem is we do this all the time regardless of what is going on. It is as simple as looking around the room and seeing furniture, or cars, or trees, or whatever, and not spending a lot of time paying much attention to the details.

Call this a security sweep. We look at our environmental labels, our brains looking for threats, and move on. Do it. Right now… without trying to prove me wrong by lingering on the details.  

How is this a problem in our modern lives? We aren’t walking up dark mountain paths all the time, but our brains think we are. We often react to things our brain’s think are threats and before we know it, we are creating more stress in our lives. We are also creating major social problems, like racism, and gender stereotyping, because of this way of thinking.

Why?

Because of the ‘Have It And Not Need It’ negativizing that our brain uses when we have a lack of information. Or think we don’t need more information, because of the labels we have socially attached to others. Because labeling is a quick and easy way of storing information. And the problem with that, is labels are vampiric in nature. They take away the power of whatever you have labeled.

So, what is this about?

Well, like I mentioned at the start of this theme, if you just take a moment and force your brain to ‘think’ about what is going on when something happens, you can insert new information into those labels that can change the way the brain references them. Now, I wouldn’t recommend trying to do this on a dark mountain road in the middle of the night, but I would whenever something happens that we can really deem as non-threatening, like getting angry at people for doing things that we wouldn’t, or having belief’s that we don’t.

How’s that for not being lazy?

If you want to hear more about this topic, listen to my new radio show, called What Drives You! and available on your favorite podcast service. And, if you have any questions, feel free to contact me at mike@mikegorday.com.

And, if you want to know more about how the brain works, here are two great books that talk about these systems:

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What Color is Your Universe

You are the Center of Your Universe.

No. Not THE Universe.

YOUR Universe.

You are the only person that experiences life the way you do. No one else on earth can. No one else sees the colors of your reality. It’s your unique perspective.

But don’t feel special just yet.

You see, while You are the Center of Your Universe, I am the Center of Mine, and a lot of times we forget that, especially in a culture that caters to egocentrism.  That’s what that is. Egocentrism.

While no one can see the world like you, you cannot see the world like all those other people out there who are the Centers of Their Universes. It doesn’t mean that we can’t relate to each other’s realities. Indeed, we do that more than we think, but the conundrum is we often do the opposite. We focus on the differences.

And then try to exert ourselves into or onto their realities.

When we look out into our Universe and see people doing things differently from ourselves, we have… feelings. And those feelings color our picture of what is going on. We start to (easily) forget that those other human beings are the Center of Their Universes and are coloring their own pictures.

No, I’m not justifying certain damaging behaviors, or picking any sides just now, I’m simply talking about how we pick our crayons to color our Universe coloring book. And I’m also pointing out that we try to color other peoples’ Universes when we don’t like their colors.

What’s my point?

If we can remember that we are not the only person in the universe, that other people have their own color scheme, we can learn to be less reactive.

And being less reactive, especially now in these uncertain times, is not only good for you, but for everyone else. Why? Because by doing so, by being less reactive we are actually able to keep our mind from automatically choosing the crayons. In general, when left to its own devices, especially when feeling threatened, our minds always goes for the crappy colors. The colors that represent all the negativity in the world. When we use our conscious mind, we can take the box back and choose the crayons we want to. And, more importantly, we can choose not to try and use our crayons on another person’s Universe.

It does take some effort, but you can do it. So, take some time and choose some different colors, because you are the center of Your Universe.

If you want to hear more about this topic, listen to my new radio show, called What Drives You! (ComingSoon!Look for it). And, if you have any questions, feel free to contact me at mike@mikegorday.com.

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Gain Control By Letting Go Of It!

What Fresh Hell is 2020 going to throw at me now???

My answer: It doesn’t matter.

What? How can I say that? Well, just like I did. Anyone can say it. The problem is believing it.

Is this bravado?

No. Absolutely not.

This year has had a devastating effect on the world. Our country. Our lives. We don’t know which way is up. Don’t know who to believe. Don’t even know what to believe. All we know is that things are crazy out there and it is a scary, scary place to be.

So how can I say, ‘It doesn’t matter.’

We humans have a tendency… well, an obsession, really… for trying to control more than we are capable of. It’s genetic. One of our most basic of survival reactions. It’s unconscious and normal, but it doesn’t have to be. That is how I can not only say it but believe it.

And so can you.

I can’t control Covid. I can’t control the response to Covid, whether it is an underreaction or an overreaction. I can’t control that my favorite bar no longer exists because of the reaction. I can’t control the riots, or the protests, or the rhetoric about why each side is right.

What I can do, is control what I do from day to day. I can control what I do when I get up in the morning, even if I don’t feel like it. I can control a normal morning routine. I can control if I exercise each day, or eat right.

All I can do is focus on what I can control.

I know that sounds trite and cliché, but it doesn’t make it less true. Does it always work? No. I sometimes find myself getting worked up about all the things that are going on outside my door. The only difference, now, is that I don’t focus on that for very long, because it does nothing for my health. Instead, I make plans for my day and do what I can to follow through with them. That is one of the secrets. Make a plan and follow it. Well, should I say, make a reasonable plan and follow it.

What am I blathering about?

Creating certainty.

When I, and by extension you, create certainty in my (your) world, we are giving ourselves a great gift that runs very deep into our psyche. We are doing that because one of our greatest fears as humans is the Fear of the Unknown, aka Uncertainty. That is exactly why we attempt to control the things going on outside our doors, even though, unconsciously, we know we cannot. And knowing that creates more stress in our lives.  

So, bring it out in the open because monsters only live in the dark.

Consciously admitting and knowing that helps mitigate its power.

What else can you do? Here are some simple ideas:

#1           Realize all the certainty already in your life. Even knowing that what is going on in the world is uncertain, is a certainty that you can count on.

#2           Know that your routine helps you with certainty in your life – routine is huge for humans (animals, too) and realizing that can give you comfort.

#3           Create more certainty by adding healthy activities to your routine. This may be the most important thing that you can do, because we often default to non-productive or even destructive routines that feel good or medicate the stressful feelings that come with the uncertainty.

These are just some of the ways we can help ourselves during this time and that is really what matters. What life throws at us is not the issue. That’s why it doesn’t matter. What matters is how we deal with what is going on.

And you have a great deal of power to do what matters.

If you want to hear more about this topic, listen to my new radio show, called What Drives You! (ComingSoon!Look for it). And, if you have any questions, feel free to contact me at mike@mikegorday.com. If you are a reader, a great book to look into, especially during these uncertain times is: